February 25, 2020

Some days (like today) #7,518

Some days
like today
The realization of time passing hits me in the gut
and takes my breath away
The length of time that’s passed
since so many people I’ve loved
were in my life
Immeasurable
The length of time forward without them
Unbearable

December 23, 2019

Blink code

[to Ivan] If I’m ever in a position where I can’t move and can only communicate with my eyes, help me sent up a code! With blinking. And I will do the same for you.

April 8, 2019

80th birthday phone call

It was so good to hear her voice—exactly the way I’d know it for years.

“I sure do miss you!” she announced. “I do not care for this other person. It’s not my Amie.”

Privately, my heart lifted to hear this. It *feels good* to feel irreplaceable. But I couldn’t say that. “I know. But give her a chance. It can’t be easy stepping in after all these years.”

February 18, 2019

1999-2000

If I could live any year of my life over again, I would repeat July 1999 - June 2000. I was 22 years old, had just graduated college, and was moving into my very first apartment in Richmond, VA to start grad school. I was broke, but I was in love, excited about life, and just getting started.


January 2, 2019

Conflict

It’s surprisingly difficult to be lazy and detail-oriented at the same time.

January 1, 2019

Twenty nineteen

How is it 2019? In my head it is around 1999–I can’t keep track of all these damn years.

I decided to set a few coking goals this year: things I have always wanted to make, things I haven’t made in a long time. I would like to spend more time cooking for fun as opposed to daily survival.

The list so far (in no particular order):

• Strawberry & raspberry pie
• Key lime pie
• French onion soup
• 1 loaf of bread of any kind
• Shaking beef from Slanted Door in San Francisco
• Baked lemon pudding with wild blueberry sauce
• Fresh spring rolls
• Pork and pineapple fried rice
• 1 cheese cake of any kind
• Hold the 2nd annual Christmas Cookie Baking Extravaganza with Jen
• Use my kitchen mandolin for ANYthing

December 12, 2017

I just read this quote about Prince's song "If I Was Your Girlfriend" (which I'm not even sure that I've heard):

This is an amazing song about intimacy, fantasy, the limits of gender roles, the limits of gender flexibility, a man's full catalog of shortcomings and possibilities. This is also a breakup song, about heartbreak and desperation. It's a song about a man putting the pieces of the past together and hoping they can add up to something more than they were.

                                                          - Tim Carmody

And now I am totally crying at work and I'm not completely sure why.