The Tire Store of Truth

When I ride the 31 Balboa bus home in the evenings--which I do most weekday evenings--we pass a tire store in the Tenderloin (a not-so-great neighborhood) that I've come to think of as the "tire store of truth." It's not much to look at, even for a tire store, but they have a large sign in the corner of the parking lot. Every couple of months the letters of this sign are changed to make a new quote. Most of them strike me as bizarre quotes to find in such a dismal location, but it cheers me up every time I see one.

Three of the most recent quotes:

"Show me a sane man and I'll cure him." (Carl Jung)

"Martyrdom is the only way in which a man can become famous without ability." (George Bernard Shaw)

"If we saw ourselves in others there could not be war." (Unknown)

I always wait with anticipation to find out what the next quote will be. Someday I want to jump off the bus and go inside to find the person who takes this initiative. I want to know how he/she chooses the quotes, and whether they are open to suggestions for others. I think it could be taken to a whole new level.

Pejorative Jinx

I was inverted
I mean converted
I mean I don't understand

Mememememememe!

I went to www.thesurrealist.co.uk/slogan.cgi to find my slogan. I typed my name in the box and hit "sloganize" repeatedly to see what came up. Here are some candidates. Let me know what you think:

Lipsmackin' Thirstquenchin' Acetastin' Motivatin' Goodbuzzin' Cooltalkin' Highwalkin' Fastlivin' Evergivin' Coolfizzin' Amie.

Amie: The Other White Meat

I'd like to buy the world a Amie. (I wish they'd make some adjustments for when a/an is appropriate. It kind of bugs me.)

3-in-1 Protection for Your Amie

I liked the Amie so much, I bought the company.

We don't make Amie. We make Amie better.

Yo quiero Amie. (Awww....)

Leaves your Amie Minty not Mediciney. (Ewwww....)

Would you give someone your last Amie?

Hands that do dishes can be soft as your Amie.

(It seems like the first one was the best one. Acetastin'?)

The Green Beans That I Need

I have been eating very, very well for awhile now. I have been planning all of my meals carefully, doing lots of cooking ahead of time, and eating plenty of beans, vegetables, fruits, whole grains, and turkey. I have been bringing my lunch every day except Tuesdays. On that day I need a treat to help me get through my long afternoon meeting, so that treat has been going to Portico's salad bar. I realize that a salad bar doesn't sound like much of a treat, but that's because you've never had the green beans they serve.

They are lovely: lightly sauteed in a little olive oil with garlic, parmesean cheese, and black pepper. Usually half of my take-out container is made up of green beans. I have come to look forward to these beans every week.

But, alas....today there were none. There were only boxes of raw beans that had just been unloaded from the truck--ostensibly from some green field in the central valley.

I felt confused. I planned on BEANS. What else do I eat? I made another lap around the salad bar and ended up sadly compensating with an extra dolma (not such a hardship--lemony lusciousness) and more kiwi and strawberries. While I was paying the lady who takes my money every week with a smile and an "Enjoy your lunch!," we mourned the lack of beans together.

I shouldn't complain too much. My lunch was still very good. But there better be some beans next week.

If only all my troubles were so simple...