December 6, 2006

The first time I was not afraid

Last Wednesday night I flew from San Francisco to WV. It had been a particularly rough couple of weeks and I was feeling very, very sorry for myself as big, hot teardrops ran down my cheeks and off my chin. It felt like there were deep dark pools of misery waiting for me on either coast and I was glad to be somewhere over the middle of the country for a change. I gazed out the plane window into the night sky and saw more stars than I'd ever seen at one time. Then our plane hit some particularly bad turbulence as we flew over a storm system in the midwest at about 4am.

This usually terrifies me.

Instead I threw myself back across my empty row of seats and told myself, "If this is it, I don't care. I'm ready. I hope this metal tube goes screaming toward the earth." All I needed to do was huff dramatically and place the back of my hand across my forehead.

I am awaiting the call about my Oscar nomination in the category of melodrama.

No comments: