March 15, 2012

My/our temple

It is a very strange thing to find that your body has been taken over by another being.  And strange to be a container carrying precious cargo that everyone else has an opinion about and an interest in and my god they are going to let you know!

Before I was pregnant, when I needed mental health assistance it could be very, very difficult to get the help I needed.  Endless phone calls and waits and unreturned messages and frustration and confusion for which I just didn't have the energy.  So it was strange to become pregnant and suddenly find that everyone could not help me fast enough.  My baby's health and well-being are important enough to complete strangers that they want to bend over backwards (to the extent that their budgets allow) to connect me with services. 

Want to take a jewelry-making class with other moms-to-be?  Here's a pamphlet!

Care to try prenatal acupuncture?  Come to our free clinic!

Feel like you want support when you bring your newborn home?  Let us sign you up for a few visits from a home health nurse!

Compared to what I had gotten used to, it has been rather dazzling. 

I am trying to take advantage of every service and opportunity I can manage while it is available, especially now as I'm reaching the end and being pregnant has become very, very difficult.  I was aware that it might, but never would I have been able to imagine how.

At the beginning of my second pregnancy, I was warned that miscarriage, pregnancy, and birth can all being very challenging experiences for women who've experienced sexual trauma.  When I thought about it, it made sense.  I was glad to be warned and I filed this knowledge away with the idea that knowing was half the battle and now that I knew I would be fine.

How I was wrong.

(To be continued.)

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