1. I woke up this morning to this message:
We need someone to write song lyrics for our band. We're a moderately terrible band with pretensions to be something between the melvins and kiss. We have not obtained a singer, but when we do, we need something for him to sing.
If interested, let's get a drink. If not, let's get two.
I don't really want to have a drink with this person, but the message did make me laugh.
2. One of my favorite websites, A Softer World, has t-shirts for sale and advertised them this way:
If you buy one of our shirts for your mom or your dad for Christmas, your parents will probably get back together. Unless they are happier apart. Then they will just look good.