I'm having one of those days when I feel the inner conflict of pent-up, raging restlessness and complete fatigue. Part of me says LET'S GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE AND GO PICK STRAWBERRIES/TAKE A WALK/TAKE A DRIVE/BUY A BIKE PUMP and the rest of me is like ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING?! SHUT YER FACE AND TAKE A NAP! Mostly I need to clean my house. Mostly I want to have sex all day. YES I JUST WENT THERE.
N. recommends I borrow Bree's "The Ethical Slut" and then sleep with a lot of people.
According to my shrink, now that my moods are under control and no longer the primary drivers of every single thing that I do and think, I am free to listen to other urges and drives in my body. The confusion I feel is because I'm not used to how to navigate with these new needs running the show.
Yesterday I confided my mixed relationship and sexual urges to S. I really wanted to talk to a man about them. He listened patiently and then said simply, "You're turning into a dude." Then we proceeded to have the worst mixed drink in the world and to watch the worst movie in the world and still managed to laugh all evening.
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