September 1, 2008

Two conversations

Conversation #1--With my mother

Mom: This guy that I've been seeing...I know you've never seen him or anything, but he's really interesting. You'd like him. He reminds me of Dr. Phil.

Me: [thinking she obviously has no idea what I like] In what way?

Mom: Well, he looks a lot like him. And he kind of has that Texas drawl, too. And he's really, really smart. He's kind of an odd guy, I guess. Really smart! And, you know, he doesn't fit in with anybody. Kind of like you.

Me: Um, what?

Mom: Oh, you know. You never did fit in with anybody.

Me: Wow. I never knew.

* * * * * * *

Conversation #2--While waiting to meet someone downtown at Powell and Market near the cable car turnaround. I was standing between the dude holding this sign:

Jesus Christ Loves You

and the dude holding this sign that I've had up on my page for ages:

No Unlawful Sex

The guy holding the NO UNLAWFUL SEX sign: No sloppy seconds! Women turn into whores! Just fresh and clean between each other. [Then addressed to me:] You have to be a virgin to get married.

Me: Uh oh. I think it's too late for me.

Guy: No it's not! No more sex from now on!

Me: Yeah, it's too late for me.

Guy: And no more masturbation from now on!

Me: [laughs] It's definitely too late for me.

Guy: Well, let's see how hard you're laughing on Judgment Day when you get sent straight to hell.

Me: [laughing again] That'll be something. Won't it?

Guy: [shakes his head in disgust and continues yelling] No sloppy seconds!

3 comments:

I'm just me... said...

As for fitting in...your friends all love you just the way you are!

I'm still trying to figure out if SF has more crazies than other places or if they are just more outspoken about their craziness. Of course WV has all the Jesco White's, so who am I to talk?

Ok now what said...

I dont fit it either, but that doesnt matter, the key is to find people like yourself who dont fit in either, so you can be "outcasts" together...JUST KIDDING!

I LOVE YA!

Bree said...

"That'll be something, won't it?" - LMAO - you are so brilliant. I've seen that guy so many times, but usually I'm on my bike, so he doesn't engage me. Dunno if I'd be able to handle him as gracefully as you did, though.