December 10, 2008


I got an email from my boss yesterday. Let's call her "Janet" henceforth, shall we? (I'm glad you agree.)

I'd sent Janet a progress report on a project I was working on with a projected timeline of when various tasks were going to get done. She wrote to say she had some questions and that she would like to meet to get those questions answered. I was to plan to organize my time in the following fashion:

1. Janet and Amie sort out few remaining questions that Janet has.
2. Amie finalizes all questionnaires based on this discussion.
3. Amie prints out final questionnaires for Janet's final review vs penultimates.
4. Amie drafts and Janet approves letter to participants.
5. Pretests go out to 25 pilot participants.
6. Amie gives Janet correct answer sheets for all questionnaires.

Now, when I was four years old I needed some assistance with knowing when to brush my teeth, clean Kool-Aid stains off my face, put on a jacket, and take a bath. But Jesus Christ! I didn't spend 13 years after high school training to take a job that spells out at what time my every breath should be taken!

Janet attempts to account for my time down to the smallest detail on a given project, and then wonders why I begin to fall behind on other projects and why am I not "donating time" [a term thrown around often here that is just fancy-talk for "working for free"] to get caught up?

If you have wondered why I haven't been writing as much in my blog lately and/or haven't answered emails, it's because my two jobs are keeping me running around. Despite having two jobs, I am still forced to look for a third source of income in order to survive in San Francisco. Shit's expensive.

Thus, I have been brainstorming ways to make money or cut corners in order to make ends meet. Here are some of the thoughts floating through my puzzler:

1. From what locations can I steal toilet paper?
2. How many times can I eat generic bran flakes as a meal in one week without, um, negative repercussions?
3. How lucrative is prostitution? And what differentiates any skills or qualities I might have versus those another might have?

For what it's worth, I'm setting up a website on in order to sell my greeting cards. I'll send out a link as soon as all that's set up. Buy cards. Buy lots of cards!


Anonymous said...

Okay if I could find a M@$%!?ing third job as well, I might be able to buy some of your cards...I have sent out 14 resumes for an MT job and taken 3 tests harder than my final (which I got honros on right) and can't find one!!!

Of course if the cards are that good, and I know they will be, I may resort to hitting the streets as well.

That much bran may put you in a "bind" you know I would switch between oats and bran occassionally to keep you regular!

And I was wondering why you havent been donating any time to this!!!

Yannie said...

We can steak out a corner in the Tenderloin like we plan.