May 8, 2009

Filling jars full of silence you'll get nowhere.

You know, I worried that this medication would take away my inspiration and creativity. I think it has. I don't feel like writing and I have nothing to say to anyone.

I will tell you about a dream I had last night (that recurred all night). I was with a group of people from different parts and times in my life. We were walking through the woods. We came to a clearing to find a ravine the size of New River Gorge in WV. There was a swinging rope bridge going across it.

Everyone but me exclaimed in delight and surprise and started crossing it, but I was frozen in place. Every time I peered over the edge, my stomach dropped and I jerked in my sleep. My friends looked back at me and urged me on. "It's fun!" they cried, "Such a long way down!"

I gathered my courage and ventured out 2-3 steps on the bridge. My head swam and I became dizzy, and I staggered back to land. I shook my head vehemently at those who were calling to me. "I can't!" I shouted. "You go ahead. I'll stay here!"

And then I looked at the forest around me, wondering what I would do by myself.

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