I dreamed that my mom was visiting, and we were walking along the marina here in San Francisco. For whatever reason, she was walking very, very slowly--just shuffling along a couple inches at a time--and eating celery. We were getting nowhere fast, and I was irritated and bored out of my skull.
I was walking behind her and trying to call a friend on my cell phone that I hadn't talked to in ages just to kill time. As my friend's voicemail came on, my exasperation with my mother's slowness got the best of me, and I said peevishly to her, "You walk like old people fuck. Get that celery out of your mouth."
Without thinking, I hung up the cell phone and then realized in horror that I'd just left this as my friend's voicemail message. I tried frantically to call back and apologize to her voicemail in a second message, but I couldn't get through.