June 18, 2008

Squirt

I had a MUNI incident yesterday on the M train. This one's not that funny. It's downright...nasty.

I was traveling from San Francisco State University to CAPS downtown at about 1:30 in the afternoon. The train wasn't very crowded at all. I had piles of stuff with me--laptop, shoulder bag, lunch, etc. I sat in one of the seats facing forward by the door, and my attention was mostly engrossed by responding to text messages. My hand, my poor left hand, was holding onto the metal bar in front of me while I futzed around.

At one of the underground stations a man got on and stood directly in front of me. He had created this sort of pulley system for garbage bags and had them hanging around his neck--one large one on each side. He had a long trench coat on, and as he stood in front of me I noticed him fiddling around underneath his coat and behind his garbage bags. I briefly wondered why he was standing so close, but quickly went back to what I was doing.

A couple moments later I felt the results of what he'd done on my left hand. When he, um, got me I looked up thinking at first that something warm had just been spilled on me. It turns out it had, except that it was this man's seed. I made a weird, gagging sound and jerked (Brief aside: I can't help it--I the words I choose seem to be double-edged.) my hand away. He quickly zipped up his pants under his garbage bag and hopped off the train at the next stop.

No one else seemed to notice what had happened with the exception of the fact like I was now gazing at my left hand like it was my arch nemesis and frantically searching for a tissue in my bag.

I scrubbed and scrubbed and scrubbed. I still feel dirty.

Other than that I had a really good (long) day yesterday. My students were a great deal of fun.

4 comments:

Bree said...

You are FUCKING kidding me, right??

I am so, so, so sorry. I swear to god, you have the weirdest Muni karma of anyone I know. Please let them go back to unobtrusively admiring your toes.

Toad's Lair said...

Oh, how I wish I were kidding...

Toad's Lair said...

Perhaps I used to expose myself to or otherwise harass people in another life and, thus, am paying for it on MUNI in this life...

I'm just me... said...

There is nothing you could have done in a past life that would call for this kind of payback. That's just gross!