July 4, 2008


Yesterday was three years since I moved to San Francisco and it's sort of blowing my mind. I'm in a reflective mood. A lot has happened in this three years, both good and bad. I'll try to make one of those lists.

Let's get the ugly stuff out of the way first. The last three years saw...

- the painful end of a very long relationship.
- that long relationship attempt to be a friendship and then break down completely because it was just too damn painful.
- the completion of another degree through which I kicked and screamed the entire way.
- the moving out of a shared apartment.
- the death of my Grandmother.
- the meeting of the person who changed everything for me and the tears the subsequently came afterward when I realized I was the only one who felt that.
- the mourning of an aborted attempt to move to another country.
- the courage to try again to begin a relationship with someone I trusted, only to find that one apparently was doomed as well.

Now for the GOOD stuff. The last three years brought...

- lots of first experiences: my first Gay Pride Parade, Folsom Street Fair, big wheel race, etc.
- a weird and unforgettable trip to Poland.
- teaching at a new university.
- LOTS of new and fantastic music and concerts.
- the real beginning of my writing.
- the completion of the fellowship for which I moved here.
- the move into a new apartment with the most fantastic green walls ever.
- the courage to take a lot of actions I never thought I'd be able to do.
- my 30th birthday. For reasons I won't go into here, I consider that a good thing.
- a birthday on a beautiful island that I have dreamed about having for years.
- many new friends. I can honestly say I never thought I'd have such amazing friends.

I have no amazing ending. This is where I'm at.

Whenever I breathe out...

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