Restlessness

I can't sit still.
I can't stop thinking.
I can't stop wondering.
I can't stop arguing with myself
about even the smallest things.
I can't decide where to go
or what to do.
I want, want, want
and what I want is unclear.
I know that peace of mind
would be a great place to start.
At the moment there is no one to talk to
(and not a good way to put my thoughts into words anyway)
and I can't think of how to express myself
other than through this particular medium,
as all others seem closed to me at the moment.
When I dream lately, it is of transportation—
buses, cars, planes, trains
Any mechanism that will get me out and away
but from what it is unclear.
So, again, tonight I will drive.
I will wind my way down the coast
with my windows down and my hair dancing across my face
looking out at the ocean
and the moon reflecting off of it.
I will drive and I will sing and I will wonder.
I will try to see across to the other side and, again, I will fail.