This little piece "Before" has been getting a surprising amount of attention. I got another response about it from a guy I went to high school with.
My God Amie. How do you you sum up life so perfectly? I related to this in so many ways. You have a gift of reaching out and defining things everyone experiences in life that would otherwise be intangible fellings to others. Thank you for this one. It helped put some of the stuff Im dealing with in life into a bit of perspective for me. Sorry about gushing. I had an emotional moment. Thanks for that.
I showed this to my roomie and he read it and said, "That is a total junkie statement." I questioned him about this. He responded....
"That is what goes through a junkie's mind before every hit they take off the pipe."
I was stunned.
He had hit something in me with that statement. My mind immediately began disassembling EVERYTHING. Every possible memory or feeling I had began to fly through my minds eye, scrutinized to see if I had felt that way in association to ANYTHING else I had ever experienced. In about the span of a half hour, perception had, once again, shifted. I am, in essence, a junkie. A drug whore of sorts. My drug has always been acceptance.
"How do you detox off that?" I ask myself.
"Do I really want to?"
After 34 years of life, I still question why I am the way I am every day. Every once in a while, I actually get an answer.
How incredibly touching and flattering. How incredibly like myself.