August 18, 2008

Is it wrong to call them my home girls? Yes? Well...

There are two lovely ladies in my life that are always there for me. They are the only two people in my life that I can and do say absolutely anything and everything to, completely uncensored. No matter what comes out of my mouth--rational, irrational, witty, ridiculous, insightful, clueless, and on and on--I know they will listen and, if it becomes necessary, tell me I'm a freak in the most loving and gentle way possible.

One is near; one is far. One has been one of my best friends for three years; the other for 13 years. Both of them have rescued my emotions and sanity this weekend during some difficult romantic turmoil.

One spent long hours talking to me and encouraging me to mentally and verbally flush out every aspect of my needs and expectations and desires. She shared the good bottle of wine that she'd been saving for a year and let me curl up on her couch by candlelight. She shared her own experiences and lessons learned and let me experience all my emotions--especially the anger and the sadness--over pizza and kitties. (We were eating the pizza, petting the kitties. Just to clarify.)

The other came to my aid as I was sitting in a parking lot, unsure where to go or what to think or how to feel. We processed the pros of cons of being with someone who's as batshit crazy as you are and who inspires your craziness and creativity and passions to bloom versus someone who is stable and grounded and secure and has absolutely no idea where in the hell you're coming from half the time but makes you feel safe. We debated the sustainability of each, and wondered if it was possible to find anything in between. She's currently in the safer kind of relationship and admitted, "It's been awhile since I walked past a bridge and wondered what would happen..." It meant a lot that she could say that to me.

I don't have any great wisdom or truth to share here. I told them both in person how much their friendship meant to me, but I felt the need to proclaim in some other way. I love those girls to pieces.

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