In the last 24 hours, I have managed to do the following things:
- spill Mocha Frappacino on my leather chair and in a puddle underneath it
- drop a soft taco (with salsa, sour cream, everything) face down in the middle of my bed
- drop a razor on my foot
- catch my sweater in a doorway and tear a hole in it
- run into a step-stool in the darkness of my living room at 5am and put a huge knot on my shin
- spill milk inside my refrigerator
- catapult a piece of chicken across the room as I was making a salad to take to work
Even by my standards, the situation is dire. The day is still young—it’s not even 9am. To my knowledge I have not had any black cats cross my path, walked under any ladders, stepped on anyone’s grave, or disrespected anyone’s ancestors. I’m just a clumsy girl trying to get by.
Universe, can you please take your curse off me?